Positive Thinking-8 Steps for the Bumps in the Road

Several months ago, I started an experiment that has changed my life – I made the decision to live my life with as much positive thinking as possible. Consequently, the results have been nothing short of extraordinary, and my life’s work of helping people to achieve their goals through wellness and positive thinking is taking off faster than I could have possibly imagined. I love watching the expression on peoples’ faces as they come to realize that they are completely in control of the way they think and feel and that those thoughts and feelings have a direct effect on their physical well-being.

When people ask me how I have been able to move forward so decisively and successfully, I explain that it is simply my intention to take notice of the things that add to my feelings of self-worth, success, and joy.

“But what about when bad stuff happens? What do you do then?” This question always gets asked, and I have come to expect it.

Intention is EVERYTHING

It’s all about the intention. I hold on to the intention to focus on things that add to my positive thinking and joy and to let the rest slide past me. Some days, this is relatively easy. But other days, this can be a monumental challenge.

When things happen that challenge our faith in ourselves, in others, in our Creator, we are drawn into this drama. We turn away from the thoughts, relationships, and practices that give us joy and strength. Literally, we feel the energy of life draining away as we experience frustration, resentment, worry, and anger. We complain of feeling worn out and exhausted.

When life gets hard

Two weeks after I made my initial commitment to a positive way of life, events conspired in my life to serve up a really rotten day. One of my hot buttons got pushed in a very uncomfortable way, and I completely folded. Along with all of the truly crappy feelings that came along with the incident, I also felt like I had failed in keeping my commitment to positive thinking. Most of all, I felt like I had negated all of the good work I had done for the previous two weeks. The self-loathing was thick, and I lost nearly two whole days to the darkness.

Somewhere in the midst of my self-imposed suffering, I recalled the words of several authors that stressed the importance of daily routines to keep me focused on goals and joy. Over and over, they stressed that the main reason for making a daily routine was to help to get us back on track when we lost the path. At the end of the second bad day, I begrudgingly promised myself to resume my routine the next morning, come hell or high water.

Routine – the way back from the darkness

And, yes – it was hell. I felt like I was literally dragging myself through my routine. Everything was a struggle, but as I finished the routine and settled myself to my day’s work, I realized that my mood had shifted. I wasn’t 100%, but I felt like I had achieved my equilibrium again.

Each day was better, until the fourth day, when I was back to the mindset that brings me joy and peace. I spent a great deal of time reflecting on this journey back into the darkness and decided that the entire experience was exactly what I had needed to prove to myself that my choice to live positively was most definitely the right one.

It also taught me the lesson that my perfectionist tendencies are not helpful to my progress. All too often, I have adopted the attitude of, “Well, since I couldn’t do it perfectly, I guess it’s no good.” This is simply negative thinking.

The desire for Joy and Success

All sincere effort is worth a great deal. My sincere effort to change my life could not be nullified by one incident, because my desire for success and joy are just too strong to be overcome by one incident. Or two. Or ten. And there have been incidents since then that have threatened to shake my focus, but after the stark comparison I received that first time, my recoveries have been faster each time. The recovery that took days before can often be accomplished in hours, and sometimes, minutes. I’m hoping that soon, it will be seconds.

How do I make this happen so reliably? I’d like to share with you the formula for success, joy, and positive thinking that I have created for myself from the teachings of others and from my own experience. It’s not a big secret, and it’s amazingly simple.

8 Steps for Managing Bumps in the Road

1. Make a commitment. YOU ARE WORTH IT! YOUR JOY IS WORTH IT! The time will never be perfect, so just do it now. Firstly, make this commitment with love and caring for yourself, and make it with the understanding that you will not do this perfectly. Be prepared up front to forgive yourself, pick yourself back up, and get back on this path because it leads to everything good in life.

2. Allow yourself to dream. Set some really big goals that seem impossible on the outside. Imagine what it would be like to be living that life. Allow yourself to imagine the the joy, the happiness, the feelings of accomplishment and mastery that you would have. Let these feelings fill you up with excitement and enthusiasm. (If it’s not getting you enthusiastic and excited, make sure that it’s really YOUR dream, and not just something someone said you should do or that you’ve outgrown.) Write this stuff down and put it somewhere you will see it often.

3. Find the flip (positive) side of everything negative that is in your life. The results are amazing! Stuck in traffic? Take the opportunity to listen to a new radio station or a podcast of an inspirational message. Paying bills? Be grateful for the chance to give back for something (house, gas, credit) that was entrusted to you on faith. Lost your job? Grab this opportunity to make a new start in a field that gives you energy. Relationship ended? Be thankful for what good things happened with that person. Imagine them happy and healthy in their future. See yourself open to new possibilities.

4. Make a daily routine. The amount of time you take doesn’t really matter, but the quality of the time does. If it means getting up 30 minutes earlier in the morning, or staying up 30 minutes after the kids have gone to bed, it’s worth it. Spend some time alone and try some or all of these things: Exercise while listening to music that elevates your spirit, meditate (this is about listening), pray (this is about communicating), journal, do something creative, write about your future life. The most critical pieces of the routine are physical exercise, meditation and elevating your spirit.

5. Take one day a week off from the routine. It helps you to process what you have been doing in the other six days.

6. Practice gratitude. Each morning, I write down ten things for which I am grateful. I then send this list to a close friend by email. (He serves as my “accountability partner”. He doesn’t nag if I miss a day, but I know that he notices and would worry if I missed too many.) Thank people for things that they do, even if they seem ordinary. Notice your blessings, and share with others when you can.

7. Make a plan. Remember those big dream goals? Start looking for small ways you can act each day to move you toward the big goal. It’s just like when someone makes a journey from Portland, ME to Los Angeles, CA. 99.99% of the time that they are engaged in travel, they are NOT at the destination. Still, the traveler keeps moving forward, since the goal is firmly held in the mind.

8. Walk away. Our negativity creates drama. We become addicted to this drama. When you hear something on TV that makes you feel bad, turn it off or change the channel. If a conversation is going in a negative direction, change the subject. Try to practice compassion towards those who are in a negative frame of mind. Imagine that you are sending love and light into the darkness, without saying a word. You may find that after adopting this practice for a while that some of your relationships feel strained. If they are used to you being negative, they won’t understand why you aren’t playing the game anymore. This can lead to a re-evaluation of relationships, which might lead you away from some people, but also attract new, positive relationships into your life.

I hope with all my heart that you decide to take this journey of positive thinking. Finally, I encourage you to make the commitment today, this very minute! You are not alone – I am taking this journey with you, and am glad for one more soul as company.

Clear your Space – Recharge your Self – Direct your Life

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Christina Laberge

Owner at Wellspring Energyworks

Liturgical Fabric Artist, Composer, Reiki Master Teacher, Space Clearing Consultant, Energetic Better Living Coach - Christina Laberge is living abundantly in the Boston area with her wife, Kelly, her two cats (Tam-Tam and Rosie) and one very cranky parrot (Daisy). She loves choral music, creating fabric art, travel, and riding on the back of a very large Harley motorcycle.

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