Life Transitions: Channel the Power
Why are major Life Transitions such a big deal? Because, fundamentally, humans don’t like change. We like the stable predictability of our world. Granted, we each have different comfort levels around change, but once we decide what degree of predictability is comfortable for us, we like it to stay that way.
If you are reading this article, the chances are good that you are in the midst of one of these major life transitions. Or, you may be approaching the edge of one of these shifts. In either case, I can totally relate.
I am, at this writing, less than a month away from a cross-country move to a city where I know no one. Moving is one of the most stressful major life transitions, as it involves being uprooted from our place of greatest safety: our home. I’m channeling my transition energy so that I can create an exciting new chapter in my life with abundance, ease, and joy.
Let’s explore some of the most common major life transitions, just so we all feel a little less alone in the overwhelming hugeness of the shifts before us.
Common Life Transitions
- Marriage/Relationship beginning (especially moving in together)
- Marriage/Relationship ending
- Death of someone close to us
- Job ending and/or beginning
- Change in career path
- Moving
- Birth of a child
- Children moving out/empty nest
- Retirement
The Life Change Index is a quick assessment tool that helps to measure the amount of stress in a person’s life. The theory behind this test is that the higher the score, the more likely a person is to become physically ill in the near future. All of the life transitions I’ve just listed are on this scale.
The stress of transition is more than just an uncomfortable inconvenience. This level of stress does real damage to us – not just on an emotional level, but on a physical level as well. The American Institute of Stress (it’s so bad in the US that stress needs its own Institute) lists the 50 most common signs and symptoms of stress. Some of these are pretty obvious, but some of them are subtle and easy to overlook.
In an energetic sense, what exactly IS stress?
Stress symptoms occur on an energetic level when the body cannot completely ground the energy generated in response to stressful events. Two of the body’s hormones that are involved in stress reactions are adrenalin and cortisol. Under normal circumstances, these chemicals are released by the body in response to stress. They allow the body to prepare to engage in the fight or flight response. This preparation draws in a great deal of chi (life force energy) and charges it for action.
When these chemicals are released continuously over a long period of time, the body tries to adapt to the extended stress. One of the ways the body adapts is by the production of inflammation. This can lead to a host of other unfavorable health conditions.
When the level of chi remains supercharged for long periods of time, our chakras become unbalanced. With our chakras out of alignment, we start to experience emotional, psychological and physical shifts away from health and vitality.
Ideally, stress should be a short-term condition lasting a few minutes. Unfortunately, life transitions last weeks, months, and sometimes even years. How do we protect ourselves for the sake of our physical health and emotional equilibrium?
What if we could redirect this energy and use it for positive purposes? Like consciously designing our lives and manifesting the situations and resources we desire?
Tools to Redirect Energy Around Life Transitions
#1 – Self Care
If you ever needed an excuse to be a little nicer to yourself, then this is it. What small acts of self-kindness help you to feel a little less in the red zone? Here are a few of my very favorites:
- Nice sheets
- A special kind of coffee or tea to wake up to each day
- Luxurious soap or body wash
- Pedicure, Massage or a whole spa day (NOW we’re talking my language!)
- A time-out somewhere beautiful
It doesn’t have to be big and it doesn’t have to be expensive. It DOES have to be something that makes you feel cared for. Don’t skimp on this.
#2 – Support
Make time to go to lunch with that friend who always makes you laugh. Pick up the phone and call (not just text – actually hear a voice) someone who gets you and what you are going through. Don’t give in to the negative self-talk that tells you that you are “bothering” people. Reach out in as personal a way as you can. Resist the urge to hide behind technology. If you can have a face-to-face, this will be the most helpful.
This is also a good time to check in with a therapist or counselor. Having that objective viewpoint can really be an anchor in an otherwise turbulent period of life.
Isolation is deadly. Reach out and let yourself be supported.
#3 – Stay Present
It’s so easy to tune out and numb our feelings with a wide variety of things and activities. While it is totally ok to take a “time out” for a short period of time, make sure that you are not substituting substances or behaviors for dealing with your pain and discomfort.
The obvious culprits are easy to identify – alcohol and drugs. But here are a few less obvious ways that you can get separated from what you are really feeling:
- Sex
- Gambling
- Pornography
- Video Games
- Overwork
- Obsessive/compulsive behaviors
Life transitions are dealing with death – either the actual death of a person or the death of something important to us. It is important to stay in the game and to acknowledge your real feelings as they arise. Numbing yourself with anything only delays the process.
#4 – Establish a Routine
One of the things that make a transition so difficult is that our carefully constructed patterns get smashed up. We are left feeling adrift. One of the best things you can do for yourself is to create new routines and then stick to them with conviction. If your family is in the process of moving, but always has a Friday night family game night, make certain to keep this going. Create routines around mealtimes, mornings and bedtimes. These points of familiarity will allow a measure of comfort in an otherwise turbulent time.
#5 – Help your Brain
All of those stress chemicals running around your body make your brain work like crap. No, you aren’t imagining it, and no, you aren’t going crazy. Literally, your brain isn’t firing the way it did before all the transition started. Don’t worry – as your stress levels subside, your brain function will return to normal.
Until then, don’t expect your memory to work as efficiently as it did before. (And beating yourself up about it isn’t helping, either.) Therefore, this is the time to utilize a few new tricks with greater regularity to help you through this process:
- Lists – Carry a small notebook with you at all times. Make lists of things that you would normally trust to your memory. Keep it next to your bed at night in case you remember something that might keep you awake. Finally, cross things off as you accomplish them.
- Calendars – Make a family calendar that everyone can see and access. This can be as low-tech as a whiteboard on the refrigerator or as high-tech as some of the family apps out there. (You can read about some of the really good ones here.)
- Reminders – Program your smartphone to remind you to do things at certain times or when you reach certain locations.
#6 – Use Rituals to Move Forward
As you move through the stages of your transition, allow the important moments to have the weight and importance they deserve. No, it’s not silly AT ALL. Our culture is suffering from a very real deficiency of meaningful rituals. In some cultures, there are rituals for even the smallest events of life. We need to reclaim and recreate these powerful moments.
Why is ritual so important?
Rituals allow us to set aside sacred time and space to acknowledge that something important is happening. They allow us to make real and symbolic gestures that help us on our healing journey. Rituals empower us to move forward in our lives with wholeness and confidence.
My client, Kaitlyn, had just split up with her partner of 4 years. The moving out process had been agonizingly painful. They fought over everything and she was worn out and exhausted from the experience. She felt like she was still trying to fix things between them and felt constantly depleted. She knew that it was over, but she still felt connected.
Together, we created a ritual that allowed her to break the ties that needed breaking while clarifying the ways she wanted to remain connected with her ex. In sacred space, I placed an empty chair in front of Kaitlyn. I asked her to talk about all the ways that she still felt connected to him. While she spoke, I tied pieces of yarn from her body to the empty chair. I gave her a pair of scissors and invited her to name and cut those ties she no longer wanted.
There were many tears and angry words. When she was finished, she told me that she felt lighter and freer than she had in years. As a result, she was able to move forward with her life and enter a new and lasting relationship a year later.
I’m Ready to Be Your Guide
Life transitions contain powerful, potent energy. With the right tools and a commitment to moving forward, your best life will be awaiting you on the other side. As a Spiritual and Energetic Life Coach, I have made many of my own transitions and am ready to completely support you as you make yours. If you feel an energetic connection with me, let’s connect and talk about how I can help you embrace a rich and fully aligned life as you move forward.
Clear your Space – Recharge your Self – Direct your Life
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